did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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