May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
