is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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