they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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