In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
