Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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