I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
