He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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