I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
