He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize
