found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
