Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just tell him i said nine months
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
