And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
