hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My life is pants optional.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
