Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
