Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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