Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
