Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Randomize
