If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
