Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
