just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Even my vagina gasped.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
