if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
