I wannas sexs uuuuu
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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