Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
