Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
