i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I can't put those talents on a resume
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
