yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
