You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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