I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
