i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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