Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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