Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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