I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Randomize
