Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
