I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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