Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
