There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
