My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
