why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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