do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
