I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
