he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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