I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
