All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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