dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
