D3 body, D1 cock
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
