And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
