Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just invented taco cereal.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
