Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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