soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
