Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
it's like heaven, but drunker
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
