You really coming over, don't trick.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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