you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
