taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
