I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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