i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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