Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize