There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
