My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
