I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
