would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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