im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We left the knife in your bed.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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