you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize