Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
