sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
