Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
