Yo dont text me then not text me
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
