fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
