I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
