whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize