I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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