so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
