Buhtt sex?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
