The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
