oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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